my world

here i am... all alone... thats how it should be...lonlyness...i close my eyes and i see the
truth....the truth i hid inside me for so long..i cry like a baby.. i cry for help but no one can
give that help...no one understands how hard it is for me... everyone believes that the
smile i have on my face is true but its just a mask i have been wearing... its a mask where
i can hid from the truth of this pain insiede me... all i do is cry...and last night i didnt want to
stop...last night i was trying so hard to find that world for me called safty...i couldnt reach
it there was something stopping me... something around me...something in my mind... but i dont care cus i reached it... i dont care cus i reached what i wanted...that world where half of the
people dont even immagine that exists... a world full of blood... a world where no one will
stop you from what you are doing... no one who would ask you why...why this, why that..
but in reality thats all people do...but for us people it aint easy to explain...its just there
a pain what we cant hid... a pain that wants to get free make us do madness... i close my
eyes once again to reach that world... blood, fustartion, sadness, anger, caus... thats my
world... thats all i was looking for... people tell me they love me but what do i care if i cant
love myself.. people say they believe in me but whats the difference if i dont believe in
myself... i hid the truth to everyone around me...smilling...and at the end i fell for it too.. i
thought everything was good... i thought that the smile i had on my lips was true but it
wasnt...i was all just an illution... cus deep down i was bleeding...deep down no one saw
those tears...no one saw that pain cus i hid it to well... but it was always there...and now its
screaming out...it wants to be free from a fake world... it wants to come out to show all you
a reality within me...a world where you didnt think it could be true... all you smile to me and
say all that crap...but i dont care cus i cry... i cry but no one see's me...no one hears me...
i shout out for help but no one knows no one is there to save me... this pain is to strong...
all this with in me makes me through up....i want to leave all this behind... now i will go into
a world where no one will save me because anyway there is no one here to save me... a
world where no one will ask WHY....now i close my eyes.. now these tears fall... now
the rear tears fall from my puls....and now im in MY WORLD